Four weeks ago today life changed. I don’t have the words to describe the horror of it, or the place that it has left me. I wouldn’t want to, this kind of misery is not a thing to share. Suffice it to say that the Dearly Beloved is no longer here with me and I am broken until we are together again, and begin a new life’s journey together, as we have so many times before.
Our Lovely Daughter is a tower of strength and together we are trying to come to terms with something that we still can’t absorb as real. You live in a kind of altered reality where for whole seconds at a time you forget and then it comes crashing back like a recurring nightmare that you know will last for the rest of your life.
I’m not going to say that normal service will resume in due course – we are striving towards a ‘new normal’ which, in time, will come into being. Who knows what that will be – I don’t and at this moment in time I don’t want to, it will just happen.
Whatever it is, the Dearly Beloved will always be a huge part of it, ever present in our thoughts and our hearts – love you, always and forever
Vincent May 8, 2012 at 11:14 pm
My heart goes out to you Trish.
It is indeed an unfortunate part of all of our lives some day.
Please let me offer the following two well known ‘poems’ for these occasions, even though I’m sure you know of them, they may help other visitors here.
When I come to the end of the road and the sun has set on me,I want no rites in a gloom filled room,
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little…But not too long,And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me…But let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take and each must go alone.
It’s all part of the masters plan,
A step on the road home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart,Go to friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me…But let me go.
~ Edgar A. Guest
You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
~ David Harkins